That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
