my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
How's work?
Spinning.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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