so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
