Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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