Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
