Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I need a burrito and a hug.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize