she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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