At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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