Moan for me like Helen Keller
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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