Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
