I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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