can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
