He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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