I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
