did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
