Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
someone threw a dead crab at me
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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