Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize