Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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