I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
