You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I am mentally ready for anal.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
