nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
