I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
