Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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