she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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