I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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