So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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