the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
