So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
