What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
