I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
