he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
