Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
