Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
