dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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