i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
