But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
