It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
