how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
