He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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