nut hugger
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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