ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
