shes about as inviting as chlamydia
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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