I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
