I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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