i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
