Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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