I should be sponsored by Trojan
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
