so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
