I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
