do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He did a backflip because drugs
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
