I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
