she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
