I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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