Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
