so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
