i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
3pm strippers are depressing
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
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