he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
