I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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